Mas & Wan

this is my cousin..Mas..n tats Wan will be my new cousin-inlaw..actually..already be..heh..so hope you guys enjoy this pic..but the image not so gud coz i just reshoot again the sotfware tat i use to design this book cant save into jpg..or tiff..or others..heh..

~I'm climbing~

Assalamualaikum..Hye all..wish you guys in pink of heart..
its too long..too long i didnt write anything here..and its too long to find my way back..i lost all my artwork..camera..lappy..whole package..even backpack..include my passport..and on tat time..who am i? how can i go to apply for a job? i got nothing to prove..i was so upset..i'm down..tats y i try to forget about who am i before..i'm trying..try hard to forget about camera..lappy..photograph..artwork..
tats y i just give up myself to work as a salesgirl at shoping mall..but i cant..i even cant forget my feelings when i capture something..even look at photograph..magazine..gosh..its beautiful..hmm..
my special said.."Lost thing....doesn't mean we lost everything...y always care about money, things etc. It's not fair at all..yup..tat things so meaningful and that doesn't meant we need to stop....aren't we??"...its take time for me to realize..knowing tat person..i'm learning a big thing whole my life..NEVER GIVE UP. but i need time..time to climb..time to bring me back form darkness..heh..yeah..i admit i really jealouse when saw all those pictures..all the artworks..but i learn..jealouse is gud..but dont too much..;) i need some moral support..i need someone who always stand beside me..and i really Thank to Allah..i have tat..tat person always stand beside me..always fight for me..May Allah Preserve tat person..n us..so..start from now..i hope you guys will enjoy my new come back..heh..

~for the first time we having a serious discussion~

"baby..can i ask u somthing?"
"go on.."
"y u suddenly ask me abt all this?"
"huhu..i already know u will ask this..each time u text nana ur like miss ur family. each time i tell abt mom and dad u will exited. and i know how ur feelings at tat time. ur family is mine too. so it's our resposible bring our family together again."
"n knw wat happen to me now?"
"huhu u must think abt me na? huhu"
":) if i'm crying now?"
"yup i thought so..atleast cry now..dun keep wit u..tat will make u feel better"
"nape nak wat i nangis..baby..baby.."
"hney i didnt meant to do tat. but i want u be happy. u always try to hide ur feelings.."
"i'm happy..happy wit u..my new life..

hmm...kata orang..bila kita bercakap kita akan lupa apa yang kita katakan..tapi bila kita tulis..kita akan ingat dan baca semula apa yang ditulis itu selagi ada dalam simpanan..dan aku...terus menangis apabila membaca apa yang ditulis kepadaku..kerana ia sangat menyentuh jiwaku..kerana dia telah membuat aku menangis..kerana dia sangat menenangkan jiwaku akhirnya..kerana dia segalanya bagiku...dan dia adalah satu-satunya yang bisa membuat aku menangis dan tersenyum dalam satu masa..dan dia adalah satu-satunya yang bisa membuat aku marah dan pemaaf dalam sekelip mata..dan dia adalah satu-satunya yang bisa membuat aku ketawa dan tersenyum gembira akhirnya...aku akan jatuh kerana dia..aku akan bangun kerana dia..aku akan teruskan hidup bersama dia..selamanya..dan keakhirnya..insyaAllah..Amin~

7.2.2010
3:18am

~The Brooke Ellison Story~

Its been long time i'm looking for this movie since first time i watch it long time ago..i cant remember the title..but this is the story that i will never forget from my memory..from the normal kid..going to school..dancing..got everything in her life..but one day this gurl was struck by a car in 1990 at age 11..leaving her paralyzed from the neck down and ventilator-dependent..and she's the best graduate from Harvard University. HOW THIS GURL SURVIVE? Finding Hope and Overcoming Challenges..her story giving inspiration to me..give me courage..and life..i was down..really hard for me to walk again..i was give up on my life..i was give up to look after my family..but this movie bring light to me..this movie make me realize on life..and this song..the words..really meant so much to me..and i dedicated this for someone that i love..my everything..and i want u to be like this gurl..be strong..take her courage..take her spirit..be a gud person..i love u baby..

You don't have to dry your eyes,
Go ahead and cry,
Let your sweet tears stain my shoulder.
It's good to get it off your chest
Give your troubled soul a rest
And let somebody hold you.

It's gonna be ok,
It's gonna be alright,
Tomorrow is a new day
Oh, you see it in a new light.
Try to keep your head up,
Don't you ever give up,
Even if your heart breaks
Yeah, it's gonna be ok.
It's gonna be ok...

When hurt is all you feel inside,
'Cause you failed with one you tried
It's best to put that thing behind you
It may don't look so good right now
But it's gonna change somehow
All that I can do is remind you...

It's gonna be ok,
You're gonna be alright,
Tomorrow is a new day
Oh, you see it in a new light.
Try to keep your head up,
Oh, don't you ever give up
Even if your heart breaks
Yeah, it's gonna be ok.

It's gonna be ok...
You've gotta find the way to keep your faith
'Cause someday someone is gonna need to hear you say:

It's gonna be ok,
You're gonna be alright
Tomorrow is a new day
You see it in a new light
Oh, try to keep your head up
But don't you ever give up
Even if your heart breaks
Yeah, It's gonna be ok, (it's gonna be alright)

It's gonna be ok
You're gonna be alright
Tomorrow is a new day
Oh, you see it in a new light
But try to keep your head up
Don't you ever give up
Even if your heart breaks
Oh, it's gonna be ok

It's gonna be ok...
You're gonna be alright
But try to keep your head up
Don't you ever give up
It's gonna be ok.

~Where were you last nite..?~Moulin Rouge

"...And special thanks to my love..thank's for your support and thnak's for your funny things..and thank's for the fight...thank's for the sweet day...thank's for the sweet nite...and thank's for everything...."

pls dont ever say that words..thanks for everything..that everything word..thats really hard for me..that word..was happen to me a few years ago..and i dont want it happen again..no text from u today..what happen to u? where have u been today? i dont care what happen to u..what i know that i wont let u go..i wont leave u..i dont want u to say that word again pls..i will pray for u..Shallow men believe in luck. Strong men believe in cause and effect. Remember all things happen for reason. God always with us..

17.1.2010
2am

~Thank God~

Finally..on 04.01.2010 at 1224pm setelah seharian hidup aku tak menentu..akhirnya dia text jugak..terima kasih Tuhan..Kau tunaikan doaku utk dia seperti Kau tunaikan doaku utk ayah ku..akan aku tunaikan apa yg aku kotakan padaMu..Kau telah selamatkan mereka..dan janji aku..Kau boleh kurangkan jangka hayat aku..Amin~

~Ya Allah..tolong selamatkan dia..~

y did i cant write this? actually..i want to write sumthing abt my feeling rite now..but..it cant go out..just keep inside there.."Ya Allah...tolong beri aku kekuatan untuk tempuhi dugaanMu buat kali ke-2 ini Ya Allah.."

30.12.2009 - 2024pm
text in - "huhu love u..what will if one day i'm no more.."
text out- "wat r u talking abt?"
text in - "yeah..one day everyone will leave the world rite"
text out- "wat is goin on?"
text in - "just ask la dear"
text out- "y suddenly u ask abt this?"
text in - "nothing..muah"
text out- "how r u my love?"
text in - "fine..but not well.get treatment now.so bored.."
text out- "wat? wat treatment?"
text in - "it's erm..my back bone they said lack of protein.and its have some problem which i also dun know. i asked mom she just said nothing to worry"

y did all this thing happen to me?? 1st dad..and now..u..what i've done..?? y me?? God..i'm not too strong to face it for 2nd time..cukup la dgn ayah..jangan Kau uji aku dgn sakitkan dia..1st day dia admited dia still text aku..2nd day still her..3rd day..pun dia bgtau getting better n maybe esok dh discharge..4th? nana yg text..nana bgtau she sleeping..dia x sedar lg after 2nd surgery..and maybe will doin 3rd surgery tonite..and today..day 5..no text from any of them..aku dah x tau nak wat ape..just pray to God..keep on read old text..ym..masa ayah teruk dia byk support aku..dia la yg buat aku kuat..she gv me courage..strong..hope..always with me..n sbb dia aku kuat..not now..Tuhan..jangan Kau hilangkan kekuatan aku itu Ya Allah..aku mohom padaMu Ya Allah..aku sanggup Kau kurangkan jangka hayat hidup ku utk sembuhkan dia..sama seperti Kau sembuhkan ayah aku Ya Allah..

love u baby..
04.01.2010